Are You Safe?
WARNING: This maybe an uncomfortable post for some.
Anyone who experienced sexual abuse as a child is at risk of repeating the cycle.
Either through allowing others to sexualise them, or in sexually abusing others.
Hurt people, hurt people.
As a society we are very good at judging and punishing after the fact, but we are not so good at addressing the root cause and preventing these things from happening in the first place.
From the age of 8, my mother told me that I would be like my father. That I would grow up to be a monster, and hurt women and children. My father, a convicted sex offender and paedophile, who spent much of his life behind bars.
Through my teens I cried and pleaded with God, that I wouldn’t turn out like my father, and those who had sextually abused me. I vowed to prove my mother wrong, and I did.
When I think back, I remember how mixed up and confused I was. I think about those people out there now, mixed up and confused. Alone.
Where are the safety nets of support to prevent them from falling?
Everyone speaks of suicide, but few speak of the underlying causes. Sexual abuse being one of them.
Sex abuse is a crime. It is never okay. The science of the trauma from sexual abuse, and the long term damage it causes, is clear.
If you do not feel safe. If your thoughts are plagued with sex abuse. If you’re watching such images on the internet. Preparing, planning or acting out. Then I plead with you to get help and support.
Be the one to break the cycle.
What happened to you wasn’t okay. It breeched the boundaries of trust and appropriate behaviour. It may have changed your perception of what is right, however know that it was abuse. It was a crime.
Stop the hurting. Turn to healing and being free. Don’t be the monster.
My hope is that this post reaches the right person at the right time, and prevents harm.
This article was first published on Facebook and Linkedin August 20, 2021.
Copyright© Tim Tipene, 2021.