I Had No Choice.
It seemed so unfair. While the majority of kids I had known at school were out working, studying or traveling, I was having to do therapy and personal development. I had no choice. It was either that or my life was over. I was on automatic pilot for self-destruction, and I didn’t know how to turn it off.
As a boy I would look at my parents and say to myself, ‘I’m not going to be like you when I grow up.’
However I was to learn that wanting to be different, and actually being different were two separate things. One can’t just wish to change, one has to work at it.
The outcome of rape, I grew up in a home of violence and abuse. Kicked out of school, kicked out of home, I went from job to job, relationship to relationship, all while trying to find somewhere to stay. Then I got a position working with adults with special needs. The role required me to do training and personal development. This led to me being referred to a social service called Henderson House.
There was a year long waiting list to get in there, unless a person was deemed a risk to themselves and/or to society. My initial contact with them was a phone call. From that they had me in their office the following week. They locked me into an agreement of eight months intensive psychotherapy, all funded.
I was blessed
It wasn’t easy. It was confronting, uncomfortable and life changing. There was trauma to address, cycles to be broken. I came to the realisation that therapy and personal development was an investment in me, and in my future. Throughout my life I have I continued with this investment, and it has paid off.
This article was first published on Facebook and Linkedin August 4, 2021.
Copyright© Tim Tipene, 2021.
Photo is of me, my wife and our first born.